The blonde with too much makeup in this picture is Julie Saberhagen, my preschool girlfriend. On the far right, you can see a glimpse of one of our unfortunate classmates, decked out in one of those plastic-outfit-and-plastic-mask costumes that were so popular in the '70s. You know, the ones with the eye holes that were too small, and barely a slit to breathe through, and rubber bands on the sides that snapped an hour after you put the stupid mask on. Kids today don't know how good they have it. Of course, we could go trick-or-treating without worrying about razor blades in our candy, so I suppose it's an even trade-off.